On Beauty and Ugliness

As part of my research for Bargaining Power and the Power Trips series in general, I looked into beauty and ugliness.  Which is to say, on the psychological studies that had been done on each, and what I found was interesting on a number of levels—the first of which being that it was easy to find studies on how differently beautiful people are treated and extremely difficult (although I did succeed) to find information on how differently ugly people are treated.

To put it another way: there is a stigma not only against being ugly (and shame on you if you were born that way) and thus a politically correct denial that ugliness exists.  “Everyone is beautiful, because true beauty is on the inside!”

Yeah, except that’s not what “beauty” means, when we’re talking about physical attractiveness.  Not everyone is beautiful.  The vast majority of people aren’t beautiful.  The vast majority are ordinary looking or within a standard deviation thereof.  To put it another way, imagine we’re talking about race.  Let’s say there are two sorts of people, blue and green.  In their culture, there is a vast and deep prejudice against blue people, but everyone denies that prejudice exists because really, everyone is green.

Do you think this attitude will lessen prejudice against blue people?  The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.

Another example.  After doing this research, I came to the conclusion once more that I am glad I do not have the sort of beauty that makes people act significantly differently toward me.  People don’t give me free things because I’m just so beautiful, for example.  Heads don’t turn when I enter the room.  I’m not habitually objectified by the people I meet.  But what fascinates me about this?  Whenever I mention this to someone, their INSTANT response is, “But you are beautiful!”  And then they proceed to lecture me on the meaning of true beauty, etc.

In other words, they are purposefully misunderstanding what I mean and telling me that I am, in fact, what I have expressed that I am grateful I am not—and acting as if I only made the above observation because I’m . . . what?  Low confidence?  Fishing for compliments?  Do they think that because I acknowledge that I’m not instantly stunningly gorgeous I must think I’m ugly (and we mustn’t admit anyone is that!), and that nothing less than thinking myself “beautiful” will allow me to live a fulfilling life?  Are people's self-worths entirely dependent on thinking themselves beautiful?  Rather than, for example, beloved by God?

In the Merlin mini-series with Sam Neill, Morgan Le Fay uses magic to make herself beautiful.  Merlin pityingly tells her that her beauty is only skin deep, and she scornfully replies that beauty is always only skin deep.

Some people are better looking; some people are worse looking.  Acknowledging that, and acknowledging your own prejudices, will help you overcome them.

Lying will not.


Own Your Face