On Leadership

This is something I've been thinking about for the past few years.  I've seen examples of good leadership and bad and amazingly atrocious.  I've seen moral cowardice, and I've seen outstanding inspiration.  For the most part, I think of most organization jobs as taking part in a feudal system: the subordinates obey the supervisor, and the supervisor protects the subordinates.  And that is part of it, but not all.  So here are my thoughts in an essay in bullet point form:

The Duties and Decorum of a Supervisor 

v  To be available to and supportive of subordinates

§  To be physically present when needed

§  To be ever patient and kind, consistent and trustworthy

§  To never criticize subordinates for seeking help

§  To never show temper or dislike or preference.  Where dislike or preference is shown, injustice will be more likely and will be assumed whether present or not.  This will make subordinates despise the supervisor, which above all must be avoided

§  To recognize, encourage, and direct towards individual talents

§  To protect subordinates from bullying and injustice from customers and colleagues alike

v  To teach and train subordinates

§  To do so using positive reinforcement insofar as possible

§  To encourage questions

§  To stay up-to-date and accurate on all functions over which one has supervision, or at least to be aware of the resources for finding answers.  To never invent answers when a true answer is readily available, but to reach out when necessary and without pride

§  To make sure subordinates are aware of regulations and procedures, are properly trained, and are aware of their resources

§  To correctly set expectations

§  To set an example through dress, timeliness, and willingness to go the extra mile

§  To give feedback without personal criticism or any show of dislike or preference

§  To refrain from criticizing any employee or the organization to a subordinate

v  To support fellow supervisors and the organization

§  To provide a united front with other supervisors.  To bring concerns directly to fellow supervisors and never criticize them before or undermine them to subordinates

§  To share the workload and provide backup when necessary, including for aggressive or otherwise inappropriate customers

§  To uphold the regulations and honor of the organization.  To never criticize the organization to subordinates or customers, to follow the rules and legal necessities, and to properly report illicit or questionable incidents

What Else Do You Want, My Firstborn?

 At the bank where I work, if people don't have photo ID and want cash or account information, we can ask them other questions -- things like last four of tax ID, mother's maiden name, birthday, at which branch they opened their account, and recent account activity.  Not all customers enjoyed being IDed before money is removed from their accounts.  The following exchange is therefore pretty common:

"I'd like $400 out of checking."

"Sure thing!  What's your mother's maiden name and last four of Social?"

". . . Seriously?  What else do you want?  My firstborn?"

And I can't help but wonder: what if I said yes?

Thanks to my colleague MF, who brainstormed the following with me!

April 1, 2022
 
From: Collections Department and Provisions Department
To: Inter-Realm Relations Department
Subject: Mutually Beneficial Proposal (see Resolution)
 
 
 

RESOLUTION FOR THE ACQUISITION OF ASSETS

 
 
WHEREAS it has come to the attention of the Infernal Bank that customers of lesser, Earthly banks frequently offer their firstborn children when asked for identification, and
 
WHEREAS the Infernal Bank Collections Agency is in permanent need of trained, competent Collections agents, and
 
WHEREAS the Infernal Bank Provisions Department is seeking a more varied supply of materials, and
 
WHEREAS the Infernal Bank’s interactions and contracts with Earthly banks have traditionally proven most profitable,
 
The Infernal Bank’s Collections and Provisions Departments hereby jointly resolve to immediately institute the Resolution for the Acquisition of Assets, details as follows:
 
 
PROCEDURE
 
Upon initial contact with the potential parent/parent of an unborn firstborn child (hereafter, Principal), Principal shall be offered the opportunity to sign away his or her firstborn child (hereafter, Asset).  Principal shall execute the Asset contract using no medium other than his or her own fresh blood.
 
Upon birth of Asset, it is Principal’s responsibility to notify the Infernal Bank within 90 days.  The Infernal Bank will deliver relevant State paperwork upon collection of Asset.
 
In all cases of multiple children born containing the same genetic material (aka identical twins and other identical multiples), all said children will be accounted as a single Asset, and Principal will be granted 10% credit as compensation; however, see Substitutions below.
 
Principal does not retain any right to information or property after or beyond transaction, including any information regarding the distribution of Assets.
 
 
SUBSTITUTIONS
 
Failure of Principal to make proper notification of Asset acquisition within 90 days will result in penalties, the severity of which will depend upon the duration of delinquency (see addendum, Penalties).  In the event that the Asset dies after birth and before collection, substitution may be made of a combination of a) Principal’s secondborn child within 90 days of birth, and b) 50% of Principal.  If a third child is born to Principal, Principal may substitute 100% of thirdborn for the remainder of part b) of the substitution (i.e., 50% of Principal).  In the case of identical multiples, substitution will instead be made of all multiples and no Principal, and no further compensation will be granted on either side.
 
In the case of Principal being unwilling or unable to produce Asset after five years (or five years after puberty, if contract is made with a prepubescent Principal), substitution will be made of 100% of Principal.  Thereafter, ownership of Principal shall continue under all circumstances, regardless of whether Asset is produced.
 

DISTRIBUTION OF ASSETS
 
Once acquired, Asset shall be subjected to rigorous training.  At the end of the training period, Asset will be given an aptitude test.  Asset will then be assigned to either the Collections Department as an agent or the Provisions Department as sustenance.
 
 
PARTNERSHIP WITH THE INTER-REALM RELATIONS DEPARTMENT
 
In order for this joint Resolution to attain optimal results, a partnership will be sought with the Inter-Realm Relations Department.  In return for its support, the Inter-Realm Relations Department will receive 0.1% of all Assets acquired, as follows: the 500^th Asset collected to be delivered within 14 days of collection and without any testing being performed on said Asset; and every 1000^th Asset acquired thereafter.
 
 
THIS RESOLUTION IS HEREBY APPROVED BY THE AUTHORIZED OFFICERS
 

 Krez Scheinen

Collections Departments Synthesizing Incarcerator Sovereign
April 1, 2022

 

Gluttonius Vomens

Provisions Department Gormandizer Supreme
April 1, 2022
 
 

The Genius(?) of Self-Delusion

 Because this keeps happening.  Allow me to illustrate the most recent example.

 On Thursday night, I went to bed around nine.  I woke up a couple of hours later, absolutely freezing.  I was so cold that I at first tried curling up because I couldn’t bear to leave the bed, but finally got up the courage to go turn up the thermostat.  I usually keep it at 66℉ at night and 69-70℉ during the day, so I turned it up to 68℉, wrapped myself in my bathrobe, pulled on an extra blanket, and went back to sleep.

I woke up at half-past midnight, sweating like crazy, horribly overheated.  The thermometer on my alarm clock said it was 70.6℉ degrees in my room, and there I was in two extra layers.  So I threw off the extra layers and went back to sleep, but I slept very badly, waking up every couple of hours until I finally gave up and got up around 4am.

Unsurprisingly, I felt pretty bedraggled.  I puttered around a bit and happened to glance out the window.  I was going, I thought, to have to shovel before work.  It looked like it had snowed a couple of inches.  So at 5:30, I went out . . . and found that it had snowed SEVEN inches.

Hard labor time.  I hauled snow off my driveway and away from my mailbox until I was panting in the freezing air.  Then the plow truck came by and I had to redo a great deal of my hard work.  After 45 minutes, I decided it was good enough, and gave my sister a warning call.  I couldn’t help her shovel, but I walked my dog over to bring her my ergonomic shovel, because back pain sucketh.

The whole time, I’d so over-exerted myself that I just wanted to lie around panting.  But I had to leave for work at 7:30, so I headed home . . . and realized, on the two blocks back, that I'd vastly overestimated how warm it was out.  I'd been warm when exercising, but my brief walk back deeply chilled me.

So I got to work, helped with initial stuff while wearing my heavy coat despite being indoors, and then had to go around the corner and sit down, because I felt so exhausted and overwrought I was dizzy and nauseated and about to fall asleep.  I asked for, and was granted, an extra hour for lunch so I could take a nap.  That got rid of the dizziness and the worst of the nausea and fatigue, and I got through the rest of the day.  I was sometimes cold and sometimes hot, which is unsurprising because the building I work in is old and has very eccentric ideas about heating.  So I’d freeze and then turn on my personal heater until I was overwarm and then turn it off.

For the record, the symptoms of over-exertion, which I looked up, are:

·        dizziness

·        feeling faint

·        lightheadedness

·        nausea

·        shortness of breath

·        thirst    

Additionally, panting in the freezing air had wrecked my throat, and it was very sore and that soreness made me occasionally cough.  I drank a lot of water.

Anyway, I went to bed at 6:30 that night, wisely grabbing an electric blanket and setting it on low to help stabilize my body temperature.  After talking all day, my throat hurt so badly it was unbearable and I’d start coughing unless I actively had a cough drop in my mouth at all times.  I kept drinking water, and I tried a few other things, but my stomach was feeling kind of unsettled.  I took ibuprofen for my headache, but the headache itself didn't mean anything, because EVERY ailment of any variety gives me a headache.

The next day was Saturday.  I wasn’t feeling great but not that bad, so I spent a couple of hours puttering around baking bread until my eye sockets started aching.  As in, every time I moved my eyes, my eye muscles were like, “ow, I ache.”

So I looked up what caused eyeball aches, and nothing seemed right.  Then I remembered—hold on, aren’t weird muscle aches a sign of Covid?  And yes, apparently, eye socket aches are the most common ocular symptom of Covid.

So why, then, wasn’t my lymph node particularly swollen, huh?  Clearly, I was fine.  In fact, didn’t I have an oral thermometer somewhere around here?  I’d take my temperature!

100.4℉.

Nah, that can’t be right.  I'm 34 years old.  I don't get temperatures that high.  I’ll take it again.

100.4℉.

Really?  I think this is the first time I’ve used my thermometer.  I’ll test it in my hand, just in case it’s fault.

It’s not faulty.

Well . . . maybe I should get Covid tested.  Tomorrow, if I didn’t feel better.

Sunday, I felt better.  Yay!  My fever is gone!  I’m clearly fine!  If only my throat weren’t so sore.  Hey, sister, do you think it’s okay for me to go to work tomorrow?

Sister: No.  You’re going to go get Covid tested tomorrow.  You have almost all the symptoms of the Omicron variant and YOUR EYEBALLS ACHED.

Me: Oh.  Okay.

The point is not whether I test positive.  The point is this KEEPS HAPPENING.  This is the third time in a row that I’ve been sick and have had a whole, flawless set of explanations that demonstrate that I’m clearly not sick.  Why do I have symptoms?  Clearly, some other reason.

This self-delusion, it's . . . it's like some sort of hidden genius. . . .

The Best Villain

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about the best action sequence, and what made it so amazing; I’ve also put up a graph of different villain types.  I’ve wanted for a long time to write an article or make a video about really great villains, but the truth is . . . I’m not particularly interested in most villains.

I don’t mean “great antagonists” here; I mean great villains.  I mean a bad guy who is really, irredeemably evil is still a fascinating character.  Interview with the Vampire managed this somewhat with Lestat (I’m ignoring the travesty of the sequel ).  He was horrible, he loved being horrible, he was never going to turn good or even all that sympathetic, but he was still interesting and enjoyable to watch while being completely loathsome.  As a character, he was very good.

Contrast this to the cackling big bad, the lip-licking pervert, or the unkillable killer.  They may make good antagonists, but they’re not great characters.  Or compare it to the baddie you can empathize with because, poor things, they were abused before they became abusers.  Those may be great characters, but they’re not through-and-through villains.

If I ever wrote a post about great villains, I wanted to have a truly great villain to write about.  I finally found him in Yao Jing Zhong Zhi Shou Ce.  That has various translations, from Demon Spirit Seed Manual to Fairy Seed Planting Manual.  It’s a manhwa-turned-donghua (aka Chinese anime).  Yuan Ding, a young man from our world, is suddenly transported to a fantasy world.  There, he finds seeds that, once certain conditions are fulfilled, can become a plant-based lifeform called demons/fairies.  They take the forms of beautiful women and are extremely powerful.  The better their relationship with him, the more powerful they become.

Also, the opening song is staggeringly beautiful.

Okay, now I’m going to get into some spoilers.  So if you’ll take my advice, you’ll go binge watch the show now and then come back.  (I think the show is better, and the manhwa is a bit, um, ecchi, so I can’t really recommend it.  Also, pretty music!)

Watched it all?  Great!  Let’s move on.

So, Yuan Ding successful grows his first fairy, Mo Fei, and she immediately tries to kill him.  She is absolutely furious at him, and he has no idea why.  In order to improve their relationship, he goes into her past.  He interacts with her when she’s a small child, but when she's older, she can't see him, and he can't even touch her.  This confuses him deeply, until his fairy planting manual tells him this is because, “In this space and time, you already exist.”  

Enter a young man who looks exactly like him (except strangely handsomer):

 

And yes, behold our villain.  He’s handsome, he’s charismatic . . . and he’s playing a romance scam on Mo Fei.  Best of all, he never, ever breaks character.  No matter what he’s doing.  Even while he’s actively revealing his betrayal.

 

I cannot emphasize this enough.  At all times, he is beautiful and he is charming and he is likeable.

And the moment you start thinking of him that way is the moment you are totally screwed.  And yet you cannot think of him otherwise.  I've never come across anything like it.

It’s brilliant.

It’s also brilliant, by the way, that he is a villain, but he is both is and is not the true antagonist.  He lived a thousand years ago, and he is our protagonist also.  They're the same person.  So it’s not like he wants to hurt our protagonist.  He talks with our protagonist, but doesn't actively try to make him do anything or believe anything in particular.  (Despite them being in different times, he can speak with our protagonist because they’re the same person.)  The protagonist has other external antagonists, yes, but more than anything, the protagonist must fight against the memory of his other self has done—against the misbeliefs of those who love and hate him for it.

It is an absolutely fascinating dynamic.

We have a protagonist who is prone to being selfish, to objectifying women and going about his own way.  Our protagonist is beautiful and he is charming and he is likeable and he is capable of romance scams and he wants power.  Now he has to choose how to use his abilities.

And we see him, in his past and present selves, choose both of the two paths before him.

I cannot praise the show highly enough.

A Warlock Lives Across the Street

A warlock lives in the house across the street.  Not directly across the street, because the houses are all sort of offset, so the left half of our house is across from this perfectly ordinary creamy house with white trim and white hydrangeas and tidy, weedless grass.  Most of the houses on the street look like that.  My dad says it's because our neighborhood used to have a covenant ordering you to paint your house earth tones.  So the other houses are cream, beige, or brown.  The most hideous one is also the biggest, with diseased-beige paint and dried-out-orange trim.  It's a huge house, too, so big it takes up almost its whole lot, so all you can see of it is too many ugly garage doors.  A real eyesore.

Anyway.  The warlock's house is earth-toned too, if the earth you're on happens to be a tarry bog.  Except that makes it sound greenish, and it's not.  It's just black.  Worn, weathered, dark-magic black with black trim and a black roof and gnarly trees the warlock decorates with absolute masses of cottony cobwebs every Halloween.  Honestly, there's no telling what secrets that house holds.

But my house has secrets of its own.  There's a reason I named it Cardolon, after the Barrow-down kingdom in The Lord of the Rings.  That's right: I build my house on top of an ancient king's barrow.  But it's okay; it was falling apart, and now he has a brand-new house to rest under instead, and his voice in my wi-fi .  I painted my house the color of blood, too (red is an earth-tone, I will argue until the day I die).  He'll look after us.

The Midnight Files

The first 3 episodes (stand-alone, about 11,000 words) are always free!  After that, you can buy and redeem tokens for a low cost.  Reviews, thumbs up, and favorites are deeply, greatly, enormously appreciated.

The Midnight Files is a serial action-packed suspenseful dark fantasy drama with an odd-couple team.

Romance coerces strangers into "love"; Mystery pops out armchair detectives; Humor prat falls on banana peels. And then there's Horror. Agent Lawrence has survived in Horror for 12 years, partly by letting her partners die. Now, she's been assigned ex-Romance agent Daisy Allen, who pretends to be sweet while she manipulates people's thoughts. Who refuses to die. 

This is going to be one epic partnership. . . .

The Truth About Greenbacks

I have an exciting announcement coming soon -- but in the meantime, some off-the-cuff limericks. Why? Because around here (but apparently not most places), we have a coin shortage.  Again. The federal reserve says that even though it's printing more coins than ever, coin requests have been higher than ever and coin deposits are oddly low. I have my own theory.  It even accounts for why the $5 bills around here tend to be gross . . .

The Truth About Greenbacks
by Deborah J. Natelson

There once were just bills that were green,
The finest that ever were seen
Then said the Reserve
“Our people deserve,
A rainbow of colors umpteen.”

Then said the people right back,
“What are you doing, you hack?
How dare you defile
Traditional style—
Return us the green that we lack!”

Upon hearing this whining, the Fed
Got so mad that it snarled and said,
“You think that’s a pain?
Have a shortage again
And each bill missing half of its head!”

There is surely some lesson in this
That only a fool’d dismiss
About needless complaint,
Governmental restraint,
And the half-truth of ignorant bliss.