Book Recommendations

I sometimes have trouble finding new books I want to read, in part because I am very picky.  I've therefore compiled a list of some of my favorites.  In cases where an author has multiple books or series I like, I've limited myself to three  (otherwise, I'd have to list pretty much everything Diana Wynne Jones ever wrote, for example) and in many cases to one.  These books range from the cheesy to the serious, juvenile to adult, scientific to flighty.  I've starred the ones I would hesitate before handing to someone under 16 because of sexual content.

Addison, Katherine

            The Goblin Emperor

Bujold, Lois McMaster

*Vorkosigan series (first book: The Warrior’s Apprentice.  Also published in Young Miles).

Butcher, Jim

            *The Dresden Files series.  First book: Storm Front.

Cialdini, Robert

            Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Clarke, Susanna

            Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

                       

Dean, Pamela

The Secret Country Trilogy: The Secret Country, The Hidden Land, The Whim of the Dragon

Elgin, Suzette Haden

            The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work

Gaiman, Neil

            Coraline

           

Goldman, William

            The Princess Bride

Herriot, James

            All Things Bright and Beautiful (quartet)

Jackson, Shirley

            The Haunting of Hill House (I recommend the audio book read by David Warner)

Jones, Diana Wynne

            Archer’s Goon

            The Chronicles of Chrestomanci (first book: Charmed Life)

            Dark Lord of Derkholm

           

Landy, Derek

            Skulduggery Pleasant series: (first book: Skulduggery Pleasant; published in the US as Scepter of the Ancients)

Lewis, C.S.

            Mere Christianity

            The Screwtape Letters

                       

MacLean, Alistair

            The Golden Rendezvous

            The Satan Bug

            Night Without End

           

Marks, Leo

            Between Silk and Cyanide: A Codemaker's War 1941-1945. 

McKinley, Robin

          *Sunshine

                       

Nix, Garth

            Abhorsen trilogy: Sabriel, Liriel, Abhorsen

            The Keys to the Kingdom series: (first book: Mister Monday)

           

Pehov, Alexey

The Chronicles of Siala: Shadow Prowler, Shadow Chaser, Shadow Blizzard.  Translated by Andrew Bromfield.

Pratchett, Terry

The Discworld series (Not necessary to read in order.  My personal favorite is probably Night Watch)

Rowling, J.K.

            Harry Potter series

Stroud, Jonathan

            Buried Fire

            Bartimaeus series (first book: The Amulet of Samarkand)

Lockwood & Co. series (first book: The Screaming Staircase)

                                   

Thurber, James

            The Thirteen Clocks

            The Wonderful O

Velde, Vivian Vande

            Wizard at Work

           

Wells, Dan

            John Cleaver series (first book: I Am Not a Serial Killer)

            A Night of Blacker Darkness

Zahn, Timothy

            Deadman Switch

The Icarus Hunt

            Manta’s Gift

Writing Advice

I've been asked on multiple occasions if I’ve ever read Stephen King’s On Writing, and have always answered that no, I haven’t, only to be told that it's excellent and that I ought to read it.

But you see, I feel that if one is going to read something on how to write, it should be by a writer one admires and would like to write like—in which category Stephen King does not, for me, fall.  He’s prolific and has things he does very well, but I don’t like his genre and his prose doesn’t speak to me.  Quite simply, he’s not a writer I’d like to emulate, and so taking his advice on writing would be at best unhelpful and at worst harmful.

What about authors whose writing I do admire?  Diana Wynne Jones, Jonathan Stroud, Dan Wells, Alastair MacLean, Garth Nix, Timothy Zahn, and others?  Would it benefit me to read a book one of them wrote on writing?  And would there be any downsides?

Here’s the thing: everyone writes in different ways.  I once heard that Stephen King writes 2000 words a day, every day, no matter what.  Now, I’ve done that several times (excluding Sundays), and it’s brutal.  After six weeks I’m exhausted, my brain is dried out, my creative juices have evaporated, and it takes me months to recover any ability to come up with something new.  And that’s if I'm really, really ready to write for that long—if I already knew exactly where I was going.  If I didn’t already know, then I end up having to toss every word I wrote.

So clearly, the Stephen King permanent marathon isn’t for me.  I don’t write every day; I don’t have to.  I finish novels while not working every day—and sometimes, when exhausted from excessive writing or excessive editing, I don’t write anything but the occasional short story for months.  This gives my brain time to refresh and (importantly) helps me recognize the problems with my novels.  Then, when I’m ready, I’ll slowly pick up speed, writing a couple of thousand words a week and, finally, a day.  If writing were a sport, I’d be a sprinter.

You have to decide for yourself what works best for you.  In the end, there are only a few absolutes that I’d advise for all writers.  They are:

1. Read more than you write.  Preferably, read a variety of books, both fiction and nonfiction; don’t just stick to your favorite genre.

2. Write in such a way that you finish projects within a reasonable time frame.

3. Do your homework.  You’ll look really stupid if you don’t.*

4. Get two critiquers you trust and respect and listen to all their advice, then use your own judgment on what to change or not change.

5. Get a great copy-editor and listen to all his or her advice, then take most but not all of it.

6. Get a great proofreader and take all of his or her advice unless you’re really, really sure there’s a mistake, in which case check a style guide to make absolutely sure.** 

If you really feel you need advice on, say, how to stage and pace an action sequence, don’t go to a book on writing.  Instead, read.  Which authors write the best action sequences?  Go find one of their books and read a sequence, making notes if necessary on how the author achieves such great action.  Synthesize the information for yourself and choose which data you want synthesized—and if something doesn’t work, reject it (something that’s far easier to recognize when reading a novel than when reading writing advice).

--

*Over and over again, I encounter the poison curare used incorrectly in books and other media.  I don’t know what it is about that poison that people like using it without researching it.  For the record, curare is completely harmless when ingested; it’s only deadly when administered directly into the bloodstream.  It kills because it paralyzes you, including your diaphragm, causing suffocation.  One of the first things paralyzed is the mouth, which means no talking.

**I have more than once had clients undo my edits to make punctuation or grammar incorrect.  I even had a client who wouldn't believe I was correct when I showed him the Chicago Manual of Style; I had to convince him by sending him a link to the Wikipedia page.  Don't be that person.

Apparently, living at you computer is a Bad Thing. Surprise.

Just a quick update here; I'll add more when I know more.  But since this is the first day of NaNoWriMo (and yes, I will be participating), I thought a caveat might be helpful:

Don't spent all the time at your computer.  It's bad for you.

Yes, thanks, Mom.  I know I need exercise and stuff or I won't be healthy.  But so what? 

No, I mean it's really bad.  As in, "Chronic pain despite All The Ergonomic Things and Gunnar Optik glasses."

During NaNoWriMo, I'm still getting up every hour and walking around.  And I advise you to do so, too.

Also: good luck and have fun to all of those doing National Novel Writing Month!

It's a Metaphor

I've lately begun sketching.

 

My first draft is often fairly rough.  You can see the shape of the narrative and some of the details, but there are no real subtleties.  Sometimes, I'm tempted to stop there.  It's good enough, isn't it?  Well, no, no it's not.  It's not good enough until I know, realistically, that it's the best I can do.

When you add a few more details, you can see the shape coming in in more detail, but sometimes this makes your work look choppy and uneven -- and you still don't have some elements as more than a rough outline.  Keep filling in.  Keep shading.

At this stage, it's sometimes helpful for a bit of professional advice, or at least to stand back and look at your work from another angle, or in the mirror.  For all you know, one eye might be proportionally too large.

You're almost done, you really are.  "Almost done," by the way, doesn't mean "almost perfect"; it means "almost about as good as you, with your skill level, can get it."  Just a few more tweaks.

At this point, you've done as well as you can, and if you work at it any more, you'll do more damage than good.  (That one spot wouldn't erase, and I was just damaging the paper.)  Stop for now.  It's good, and you're done.  And the next one you start will be better.  But before you go any further . . .

BACK UP YOUR WORK!!

The cat spilled water all over this picture.  If I hadn't scanned it in at 600 dpi, I'd be really sorry right now.  But because I backed it up, I can always get a decent print of it.

I once met an author who backed her book up in two places and both crashed and her computer crashed and she had to start from scratch.  So back it up online and on a memory stick and with your mother/sister/best friend and in an email to yourself and in hard copy. 

Young Hooligans and Their Musical Expressions

Five or six cars full of Young Hooligans visited our apartment last night around 1:30 a.m. They brought impressively high quality amplifiers in order to share their music with the world. Unfortunately for them, our apartment complex prefers other genres, and before long the police added attractively flashing red and blue lights to the melee. With a last few dozen honks, the Young Hooligans found it necessary to flee into the night.

Before and After

Before and After

 

The day I got Flora: July 3, 2014.  She's 3.5 years old.



Christmas, 2014. I've had Flora half a year. She's 4 years old.

February, 2015

February, 2015

May, 2015. After I've had Flora for 10 months

 

Flora is now a fairly calm, happy dog.  This was not always the case.  After I adopted her (and the spaying drugs wore off), I found out just how bad the dog mill she'd lived the first 3.5 years had been.  I had to teach her how to use stairs.  She was alarmed by cars, which she'd never seen before.  She barked constantly at anyone (except me) who came in the room.  When people came to visit, she wouldn't stop barking until they left.  She basically had no social skills with anyone -- human, dog, cat, etc.  And Cavaliers normally love everyone.

 

Now, she barks when people come to the door but stops when I introduce them.  She will go up to strangers, tail wagging, although shies away if they move too quickly.  When alarmed, she looks to me and knows I'll take care of her.  She is very healthy and comfortable.

 

Dog mills, by the way, are places where dogs are kept for the sole purpose of breeding them.  The dogs in dog mills are vastly overbred, often kept in cages (sometimes in all weather), not fed properly, not exercised, and -- when they can't be bred anymore -- are disposed of, often killed.  Most dogs who come from dog mills are traumatized, have a variety of medical issues (in the females, distended uteruses are common), are not house trained, and have a variety of other problems.  Some have been beaten; all have been neglected.  Flora was lucky.  She was not unusually intelligent (the very intelligent dogs fare worse; I met several who never stopped trembling), she had an unusually sturdy constitution, she was fed enough (not good food, but enough), and she was rescued at only 3.5 years old instead of 7 or 8.

 

A lot of people don't understand about dog mills, or that there are respectable breeders and otherwise, and how to find out which is which -- so they end up adopting ill-bred, sickly puppies far too young (puppies shouldn't be weaned before 12 weeks; dog mill owners often do so at 6) from abusive owners.

 

If you're looking to adopt a pure-bred puppy, do your research.  Don't support dog mills.

 

If you're looking to adopt a rescue dog, still do your research.  Dog-mill rescues are not for first-time owners and will take a lot of care and positive ("clicker") training.  They will have unforeseen and often odd behavioral issues, and most have health issues.  But there are many other rescued animals who need good homes.  Mutts are often healthier than pure-bred dogs, and there are a lot of great ones out there.  Make sure you spay or neuter you pet, license them (it's cheap), get all their shots, and microchip them.  Buy or make them good food (dogs are omnivores.  Puppies need 25% meat, adult dogs 19%.  The rest of their diet should include a base such as oatmeal, brown rice, or yam, and plenty of fruits and vegetables.  It should also be varied -- just like yours should.  If you buy dry dog food, do your research.  Better quality dog food might be more expensive, but it'll save you loads of money in vet bills), with supplements if necessary, give them as much exercise as they need, bathe them according to their breed needs, and brush their teeth with enzymatic toothpaste every day.  And if they are small dogs, empty their anal glands as needed. 

 

Your pets rely on you.  They cannot walk themselves, feed themselves, let themselves out to use the toilet, vaccinate themselves, or brush their own teeth.  They need you and love you.  Respond appropriately.

The Day the Exclamation Marks Came

My new book of short stories, The Day the Exclamation Marks Came and Other Stories and Poems, is now out in paperback!  In celebration, and because the titular story is quite short, I've decided to share it will you here.  This story won the 2012 Frank Muir award for humor.

Enjoy!

The Day the Exclamation Marks Came

D.J. Natelson

The day the exclamation marks came began like any other.  I was out in the garden, weeding my Singing Daffodils—

Sunlight.  Soil.  Water.  Us.

We’re pretty.  Very pretty.

—vain little flora that they are, when something hit my head.  I thought it was a raindrop at first, and felt my hair for wetness.  My fingers touched something small and hard.  I drew it away and examined it.  It was a tiny black exclamation mark.

“What?!” I exclaimed.  I had only meant to ask the question, but the little exclamation mark had leapt from my hand and onto the end of the word.  “Huh,” I said, and went back to gardening.  Before long, however, more exclamation marks began to fall, splashing over my head and back, boring holes into my beautiful garden.  “You stop that!!” I ordered them, two exclamation marks jumping onto my words.  “You’ll hurt my daffodils!!”

My worries were unfounded; as soon as the exclamation marks hit the dirt, they burrowed into it and were gone.

I sighed.  There was nothing for it; I might as well go back to gardening.

After about two hours, during which it steadily rained exclamation marks, I stood and dusted off my hands and knees.  The Singing Daffodils were weeded and looked healthy.  I sang them a brief exclamatory ditty, returned to the house, and turned on the news.

“In an unprecedented event, exclamation marks have been dropping from the sky since eight o’clock this morning!  Let’s see what our weatherman has to say!!”

“Thank you, Jim!  It looks like exclamation marks have been falling all over the city!!!  Meteorologists are still trying to pinpoint their origin!!!  Some claim the exclamation marks may be extraterrestrial!!!!”

I switched channels.  A politician was making a speech: “The massive influx of exclamation marks into our economy can only be beneficial!!!”

Well, that was good to know.  I turned off the television and went to take a shower.

Wherever they came from, it seems the exclamation marks are here to stay.  Despite myself, I have to agree with the politician: they seem to be a good thing.  The Singing Daffodils certainly like them:

Sunlight!  Soil!  Water!  Us!

     We’re pretty!!  Very pretty!!

As for the exclamation marks which buried themselves in my garden, they’re flourishing nicely.  Better yet, they help keep the weeds away.  I can hardly wait until autumn, when they’re fully grown.  I shall have to harvest plenty of seeds for next year.